Metal Gear Solid 4: United They Fall
by SolidSonicTH
Summary: A year and a half after Big Shell, Raiden's living at home with Rose and Snake's back in Alaska. But a series of events will plunge Snake back into the events surrounding The Patriots. UPDATE: I've REWRITTEN the first 2 chapters. New chap. soon.
1. Prologue

**Metal Gear Solid 4: United They Fall**

_A SonicTH228 Fanfic_

Disclaimer: Hideo Kojima owns Metal Gear Solid, not I.

**Prologue**

_One year and six months following the "Big Shell" incident…_

_Solid Snake has returned to his refuge in Alaska and Jack (Raiden) has settled down with his wife Rose and their son, Lucas._

---

"Jack! Lucas is crying again! Could you bring him some milk?" Rose called out from the living room.

Jack rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. It was the fourth time today that Rose had asked him to get a bottle for their son.

_Oh well, I guess its part of the territory… _he thought to himself.

Jack went into the kitchen and retrieved a bottle from the fridge from their cache of spare bottles.

"Here," Jack said with a hint of sarcasm. He turned around to return to his room.

Rose was on the couch and holding Lucas in her arms. The family had been happy since they had settled down after Jack resigned from espionage. To him, "Raiden" was a name that had no more meaning. To everyone he knew, and even to himself, he was just "Jack". The family had moved to a suburban community on the coast of the US. It was the as close to perfect as he could have asked for.

However, there were some things that were not as easy to let go of. Jack still believed that "The Patriots" were still out there, the mysterious organization who had revealed themselves before his fight with Solidus that claimed to control the world's supply of information. The strange series of events that concluded his mission at Big Shell made him question the very world he thought he knew. How much had The Patriots censored? How much of the world's knowledge was real?

Still, despite such troubling questions, Jack didn't let it bother him. He had recently begun work on a book detailing his experiences at Big Shell and his life as an agent of espionage. He used the book to distract himself from having to question the notion of a secret government who was using underground censorship to control the masses. It was something he'd rather not concern himself with since he was a family man and would rather not wrap his son's head into the business.

"Jack, would you like to sit with me?" Rose asked, sweetly.

Jack wanted to return to his writing but after giving it some thought, he figured there was still enough day to accomplish that. He turned around and went back into the family room, taking the seat next to his wife on the couch. The wind was rustling the leaves on the orange trees outside. A slight breeze picked up for a brief period but returned to the serenity in moments. It was one of those fall days that just doesn't end.

"I'm thirsty," Jack said as he stood up. "I'm getting a soda."

The next few moments seem to pass as if time itself were suspended. When the breeze picked up, a shady figure had slid into position in front of the house's large picture window, behind a tree. As Jack was rising from the couch, the mysterious man also rose out from behind his hiding spot and raised a pistol. He took careful aim and pulled the trigger, but all within mere moments in real time. His marksmanship was rewarded as he was aiming directly at the back of Jack's head. The bullet exited the gun's barrel and soared through the window behind Jack. Jack didn't even have time to respond to the sound of gunpowder exploding when the marksman connected with his target.

"Oh my God!" Rose screamed in terror when she heard the glass shatter, followed shortly by watching her husband crumple to the floor face first, struck down by the assailant. The sound of gunfire had also startled the baby and it broke into a shrill cry. Rose looked out the broken window just in time to see the assassin spin the long-barreled weapon on his finger before sliding into his holster. Before making his escape, the man threw a clear tube through the shattered window.

Rose picked up the tube. The message inside was addressed not to Jack, but Raiden:

"_There are some things that man should never know…however, he knew one of them…Raiden…_

_The Twelve"_

Jack was lying face down on the floor with a glazed look in his eyes. Rose set the terrified baby down before rushing to the phone. She frantically dialed "911".

"Hello, Emergency 911. What's your emergency?" the dispatcher on the other end said.

"My husband was just shot! He's bleeding! Please send an ambulance!" Rose said with a panicked voice. She gave the dispatcher her address and then hung up the phone.

Jack remained motionless. His eyes didn't blink and he didn't utter a word. His bright blonde hair was slowly being coated red around the fresh wound.

_**Later, at the hospital…**_

The emergency personnel had managed to get Jack to the hospital. He was barely alive when they wheeled him into the emergency room. Sadly, he was not expected to live through the night, despite the hospital's best efforts as his wound was too severe. They did the best to sustain him that long.

When Rose arrived at the hospital, she was allowed to see Jack. She went into the room where he was being treated and sat down next to his bed. Jack was almost unconscious.

"Rose…" Jack said, labored in his voice.

"Yes?" she replied with concern.

"Rose…the doctors…they said I won't make it…" his voice was fading. "Please…take care…of Lucas…and…you must…do me a favor…"

"What?" Rose said, nearing tears.

"Find…Solid Snake…give him…the note…" he said. His voice was barely audible at this point.

"Yes…I will…anything…" Rose said, as supportively as possible.

After those words, Jack passed out. The nurse asked Rose to leave. She knew that it was the last time she would see her husband alive.

After returning home late that night, Rose looked through Jack's personal files. She found an email address of interest. She took the note that the killer left behind and put it into the scanner. After scanning the image, she typed up a brief message and attached the picture before clicking "Send".

_**Elsewhere…**_

A sound startled a man doing some late night research in his office. He turned around and faced his computer, which was the only source of light in the room.

"Hm…?" he adjusted his square glasses and sat down in front of the computer. "I've got some email…"

_**To be continued…**_


	2. Chapter 1: Retribution

Metal Gear Solid 4: United They Fall

**Chapter 1: Retribution**

_Konami and Hideo Kojima own MGS, not me…just reminding you._

---

_**6 days following Jack's funeral, Solid Snake's Alaskan refuge…**_

Solid Snake was returning from an ice-fishing expedition. It was something he's had some curiosity since he returned to Alaska 6 months prior. For an amateur, his catch was surprisingly good.

Snake threw his fur coat onto a nearby armchair and took off his snow goggles. His four Alaskan husky dogs jogged into the house behind him. Snake led them into the fenced-in area behind his house. Snake went into his fridge and retrieved a few steaks, throwing them to his dogs. He closed the door behind him and put the fish he had caught into an icebox for later.

"Damn it feels good to not be pulling the world's ass out of the fire all the time," Snake said to himself. He put some water on the stove to make tea and picked up the newspaper he had bought in town earlier that day. He slumped into a comfortable chair and began reading.

Since the events at Big Shell, Metal Gear RAY, and The Patriots; Snake was anxious to get back to what he had started so long ago. He had always planned to retire to Alaska after his mission in Zanzibar Land back in '99. But over the last few years, he always seemed to have one foot in the espionage game and having to "save the world". He was still listed a "deployable operative" for the anti-Metal Gear organization "Philanthropy", but he preferred to distance himself from such business. He didn't want to involve himself in their operations and if they did need him, he did his best to keep his purpose to minor support roles.

As he read his paper, a cell phone on a nearby coffee table began ringing.

"Hm…? Oh crap…" Snake grumbled. This particular cell phone was a special line that his friend Otacon and Philanthropy had exclusive access to. If it was ringing, that meant Philanthropy was calling on him for one reason or another. Snake got up and picked up the phone. He flipped up the earpiece and raised it to his ear.

"…Yeah, this is Snake," he said with a reluctant sigh.

"Snake…You there?" the caller said on the other end.

"Otacon? Yeah, it's me…" Snake said, now sure that he definitely didn't want any part of this conversation. "How many times do I have to keep telling you dogs, I'm retired! The only reason I stay with Philanthropy is for mission support."

"Sorry, Snake, but this is something that's bigger than mere mission support. You're going to have to come down here. We've stumbled on something pretty big and the higher-ups want to speak to you," Otacon said with a tinge of urgency in his voice. "Also, there's a more personal matter we need to discuss."

Snake slowly shook his head at the thought of having to answer to Philanthropy again. Even though it was the organization he and Otacon helped start, they had grown in size since they expanded their operations to include uncovering The Patriots. It was now a lot more bureaucratic and he wasn't the type for complexity. Still, he was a man of duty and he did respect the fact that Philanthropy avoided calling him unless they were in a situation that really warranted his involvement.

"Fine, I'll come," Snake said after a pause.

"Thanks. I'll have a chopper sent to your location," Otacon finished before hanging up.

_**Five hours later, at Philanthropy's international headquarters…**_

Snake was seated at the end of a long, black conference table in one of the organization's briefing rooms. Surrounding the sides of the table were seven men and women dressed in business wear. This was exactly the reason Snake had tired of Philanthropy; they had become too formal for his tastes. Otacon was seated near a digital projector and laptop at the end farthest from Snake wearing his trademark lab coat. Snake believed he had never seen him out of that thing. An older man carrying a manila folder entered the room through a door behind Snake and walked to the front of the room to address the audience.

"Good afternoon everyone," he said as he emptied the contents of his folder. "Let's not squander our time with chat. As you can see, Solid Snake will be joining us today."

He gestured toward Snake. He shook hands with the two people nearest to him, albeit with some reluctance.

"You can't keep calling me up whenever you get a paper cut or whatever, Davis," Snake said to the speaker in a grumpy tone. "I thought I was fairly clear that I had moved back to Alaska."

Snake held a slight grudge with the speaker. He was dealing with Stephen Davis; the elected head of Philanthropy's expanded operations. Davis was placed in command four months before Snake decided to resign from active duty as a Philanthropy agent. He believed that he didn't have enough say as a co-founder in the "new" Philanthropy and Davis stood for everything that he opposed.

"Maybe so but our surveillance teams have stumbled upon something I think we'll need you for," Davis responded. He turned toward the laptop and pushed one of its mouse buttons. The projector beamed an image of an aerial view of a facility. "Ladies and gentlemen, what you see here is a satellite photo of the old Shadow Moses base."

He took out a laser pointer and shined it on a building on the upper-right of the image.

"As you know, Philanthropy was founded in the wake of the Shadow Moses crisis in 2005," Davis began. Snake let out a small but audible grunt upon hearing Davis' comment but Davis chose to ignore it and continued. "We've kept an eye on the old facility to ensure no one is doing anything on the site. Recently, our satellite surveillance has begun to detect what appears to be activity surrounding the east wing."

He motioned toward the building with the laser while talking. The room began to buzz with interest.

"What kind of activity?" one of the men asked. "And why should Philanthropy be concerned?"

"It would seem that some kind of shipments have been arriving at the base for the past three or four weeks, possibly more. They have been been bringing in these shipments disguised in military transport trucks. It seems they managed to cover up their operations effectively since this is the first we're noticing this." Davis responded. "This photo you see here is approximately two weeks old. We're calling attention to it now because there has been enough activity to warrant an investigation. About one week ago, we observed two helicopters land at the base then leave approximately three hours later, airlifting a large mass between them. After conferring with my analysts, it would seem that this may be a new Metal Gear robot," Davis finished.

By this point, the room was taking an active interest in the situation. One of the women raised her hand and Davis acknowledged her.

"Yes, why do you believe whomever is doing this is using the Shadow Moses facility?" she asked.

"Most likely to divert suspicion; after all, the base has been abandoned since the FOXHOUND takeover," Davis answered her. "They probably had no idea that we had the base under secret surveillance and therefore determined it to be the best place to do whatever it is they were doing. Since the facility received so much negative publicity, no one would ever assume any further activity was taking place there."

It was at this point Solid Snake slowly put his hand up. Davis looked at him and gave him the floor.

"Let me finish the rest for you, Davis. You're going to want to send me in there, right?" Snake said, cynically. "Isn't that why I'm here? You plan on dropping me into that place and get to the bottom of this plan you seem to suspect."

"Yes, Snake. Our other operatives are presently handling other leads in this investigation and we believe your expertise best suits you for this mission."

Snake scratched his bearded chin before continuing. He looked at the photo then back at Davis.

"Sorry, Davy, but I ain't in. My life has got enough problems and I don't want to be worrying about Philanthropy's on top of that," he said. "Call yourselves up another patsy because I'm done with this crap. If you need a mission support specialist, I'll take it but I'm not putting my ass on the line in the field."

Davis' expression turned to discouragement. "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Snake. I wish you the best."

Snake got out of his chair as the meeting adjourned. As he reached for the glass door, someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to face Otacon.

"Otacon, I know we're friends but even you can't convince me to do this. You should know better than any of these suits I'm not in the espionage thing anymore," he said to him.

"Its not that," he responded to Snake. "There's something else you need to know. I'll show you in my office."

The two men proceeded down the hallway and arrived at an office. Otacon pulled out a keycard and slid it through the scanner on the office's large glass "wall". The small light on the scanner changed from red to green and the glass door next to it unlocked. Inside, a bookshelf sat behind a dark, polished, wooden desk with a computer screen and keyboard sitting on top.

"Snake, you need to see this," Otacon said as he logged into his computer. He opened the email program and clicked on a specific message. Otacon moved aside to let Snake sit in his chair to read the message.

"Rose sent this," he explained to Snake, his voice heavy. "She sent it about a week ago. Snake, Raiden's dead."

Snake was reading the message in shock. He considered Raiden to be a good friend and one of the few he had as an espionage agent. He had even offered the young operative a place in Philanthropy but he had declined in lieu of his plans to start his family.

"She also sent this," Otacon said. He double-clicked the attachment and an image appeared on his monitor. It was a scanned image of the note that was left at Jack's home after he was shot. Snake skimmed over the crumpled note.

"'The Twelve'"? Snake said as he put the pieces together. "It can't be…The Patriots?"

"I believe so," Otacon concurred.

"But I thought we determined they were dead after Big Shell. It was on the MO disk that Raiden gave us."

"Yeah, but that data had likely been altered. Those names were probably just pseudonyms. Raiden's mission report after defeating Solidus could have told you that. The communiqué he received during his fight confirms that some party was sending him CODEC transmissions from outside of Arsenal Gear. The G.W. AI was fried by the virus and was out of commission when Arsenal Gear crashed so those messages were coming from human sources. In addition, Liquid was likely after The Patriots using the knowledge from Ocelot's mind when he possessed him. Ocelot is The Patriots' man in the field and he takes their marching orders. They're out there somewhere and they were the ones behind Raiden's assassination."

Snake swirled the chair to face Otacon. "About the murder, does Philanthropy know?"

"Yeah, I told them about it," he answered. "As you know, we expanded our operations after Big Shell to include revealing and ending The Patriots stranglehold on America. As I said, with everything that went on at Aresenal Gear, no one believed that The Patriots were dead. Someone had to be pulling the strings of the S3 project and Philanthropy made it a priority to get to the bottom of that. Raiden's murder wasn't their top concern but they did take some interest in his knowledge of The Patriots. Still, I don't think they'll do much about it since they got what they really needed to know from his mission report. But…" Otacon raised his voice to spark some intrigue.

Snake raised his eyebrow. "But…?"

"There is one thing I didn't tell them," Otacon continued, slyly. "I believe Raiden's murder and this thing that's happening at Shadow Moses may be related."

"How the hell do you figure that?" Snake said with surprise. "You've got evidence?"

"Yes I do," Otacon explained. "I read the autopsy report after Rose sent me this email. The ballistics testing revealed the bullet that killed Raiden was shot through a Colt Single Action Army…"

Snake was taken aback by this news. Otacon just smiled and nodded. Snake knew there was only one man who was that good with a Colt Single Action Army. To line up such a deadly shot and be gone before anyone even noticed his presence.

"So…that would mean…" Snake said, connecting the facts to the evidence. "Ocelot! He's the killer!"

"Indeed," Otacon said, confirming Snake's suspicions. "It was a hit out on Raiden's head because The Patriots had to fix their mistake. They realized that they had divulged too much information during his fight with Solidus. Look at the timeline: the murder happened about four days before that large object was moved from Shadow Moses. If this really is a Metal Gear, I'll bet you The Patriots themselves are backing its development and Raiden's murder is part of the cover-up. Raiden was the only person who was capable of blowing their plan if someone caught on since he was in direct communication with The Patriots after the Arsenal Gear crash. I believe that all the answers to both the large device that was airlifted from Shadow Moses and the details behind Raiden's killing can be found on that base. I can say that Ocelot is likely the link."

"But, wouldn't Philanthropy have come to this conclusion?" Snake asked.

"No. They didn't have access to the autopsy report like I did," Otacon said, grinning with a little pride. Snake knew he had hacked into the police network and taken a look for himself. "Ocelot's been missing since the end of the Big Shell incident. They think he's dead since Liquid took over his psyche and tried to chase down The Patriots. However, if they read that autopsy report, they'd realize that Ocelot is still alive and he's still doing the bidding of The Patriots."

"Well, I'm going to tell Davis. This makes enough sense to follow-up on it," Snake said as he was getting out of the chair.

"Hold on," Otacon called him back. "The reason I told you before I told Philanthropy is…you need to accept the mission first. I figured you might have turned it down going by just the information that Davis prepared. But now you're aware of the larger situation. Are you in? You'll have Philanthropy's support."

Snake took a moment to think it over. He definitely wanted a chance to get back at Ocelot if he really was responsible for killing Raiden and by accepting the mission, he could accomplish that and still help Philanthropy.

"Fine, I'll take the mission…even if its just for Raiden," Snake answered.

_**An hour later, inside Davis' office…**_

Davis listened as Snake and Otacon explained the details of Raiden's murder and how it could be connected to the events at Shadow Moses.

"So, what you're telling me is The Patriots are likely responsible for all of these seemingly unrelated occurrences?" Davis clarified once they were done telling him all they had.

"It makes sense, sir," Otacon assured him. "Both Snake and myself agree that the timeline in question agree that Raiden's death was to take place right before the object at Shadow Moses was going to be moved. Plus, factor in the likely suspect being Revolver Ocelot, we can assume that The Patriots are the true culprits behind everything taking place; the murder and all the activity at the base. They're also the only party that commands enough influence to create a weapon as powerful and dangerous as a Metal Gear under such secrecy. Since Philanthropy has been established, the flow of known Metal Gear technology has dropped drastically to near-nothing. The Patriots probably have been manufacturing and moving this technology secretly on the base."

"So now all that remains is 'why'," Davis said, thoughtfully.

"Davis," Snake entered the conversation. "Based on this new evidence, I'm willing to accept the mission to Shadow Moses."

Davis faced Snake. "We will be willing to support the mission provided you don't let your desire for revenge influence your performance. I realize Raiden was a close friend and I am sorry for his death. However, as an agent of Philanthropy, your mission to discover what the device that was being housed at Shadow Moses was will be the top priority."

"Don't worry, I'm won't let my feelings influence the mission," Snake said. "You'll get your information. However, my condition is I want your support if I decide to pursue Ocelot."

"Philanthropy will endorse your pursuit of Ocelot if you bring us what we want when you return from Shadow Moses," Davis said. "Besides, if what you and Otacon are saying about Ocelot still being alive is true, he can serve our purposes as well. But what makes you think this isn't a ploy? It'll likely expose you and allow The Patriots to kill you as well. Remember, The Patriots know that you pose as great a threat as Raiden did as far as information goes. You may have been next on their list of targets."

"Don't be concerned, sir," Otacon said. "Snake and myself are almost 100 percent certain Ocelot was the assassin. The skill the shooter used with that weapon is the hallmark of Ocelot's handiwork. I assure you this is our man."

"Hm…alright, we'll follow-up. Snake, we're clearing you for this mission. Head for the prep bay and suit-up. I'll call ahead and tell them to fit you for a sneaking suit," Davis finished the conversation as he led the two men out of his office.

_**TO BE CONTINUED…**_

(NEXT: Snake infiltrates Shadow Moses island)

_(A/N: How do you like the redesigned chapters? I know I may have made Chapter 1 a little longer but I feel the details are more…"Kojima-esque". I wanted to get the setup details out of the way in one chapter so we can move onto the main plot after this instead of laying out more backstory. I also changed "Higgins" name because I didn't want to rip of Magnum P.I. :P_

_Finally, I'd like to make a public response to Chicken Fox's comments. No hard feelings but I'd like everyone to know how I think:_

_**1) **I was trying to create a balance between Snake's commitment to Raiden as a friend and his normal attitude toward never getting too attached to those he meets on the battlefield. As for Otacon, I had no idea what his motivation should have been so I sort of kept him on the side as far as emotions go. Plus, I didn't want the story to dwell on Raiden's death. I just wanted to use it as a motivation for Snake._

**2) **The corporate image seemed like more of a creative necessity. However, I do agree that I didn't explain why my vision of Philanthropy varies so much from the way MGS2 makes it seem nor did I explain why Otacon (who may have been one of the founders) was in such a minor role in the organization. This is why I changed Snake's thoughts to give him more apathy after arriving at the "new" Philanthropy that he didn't like (so I can thank your comment about this for changing how I approached the redesigned chapter). The goal of the "corporate" image was to create the sense that Snake wouldn't be taking orders from a large organization that he felt like he had no stake in. I needed to attach the personal conflict that Snake felt toward avenging Raiden to the mission. The redesigned chapter conveys this idea with more clairty, I think.  


_**3) **There is a reason I'm sending Snake back to Shadow Moses. And don't worry, the story will move to a new location and will not take place just on Shadow Moses._

_**4) **You better believe the bonus chapter was lame…but that was the idea…stupidity in a serious fanfic to break the tension._

_Anyway, I'm going to start working on the next chapter. Sorry for taking so long to update this story but I'm offering the redesigned chapters as an apology.)_


	3. BONUS CHAPTER! LEIK OMG!

**Metal Gear Solid 4: United They Fall**

**BONUS CHAPTER: LIEK OMG!**

Solid Snake was so totally preparing to have Otacon and Raiden over for a totally awesome party. They were all going to so play MGS2 and then a game of Halo. It was going to be a total blast!

"OMG! Someone's at the door!1" Snake like totally said to himself.

He like, went to see who was at the door, and it was like Otacon and Raiden!

"Snake! What's up?" Otacon was all happy and junk.

"Nothin'! Hey, you bring over your 2nd controller dude?"

Otacon did because he was like a really good friend of Snake. Raiden like brought the punch. He's too uncool to bring over anything else, ya know!

"Raiden! Don't touch the snacks, dude! You n00b!" Snake was all like yelling at Raiden.

"i wuz liek totally not going to!1!1!" Raiden said like some newb.

"Dude! Snake! Hook up the PS2 already!" Otacon was getting all crazy.

"Calm down d00d, don't act like that poser over there!" Snake like said to shut him up.

"d00ds, im liek so totally 1337 at dis game!" Raiden said, acting like a n00b again.

"Raiden! Go put the stupid punch on the table and pour us a glass!" Snake like told Raiden, who was still like holding the punch bowl (what a n00b!).

Otacon and Snake like hooked up the PS2 while Raiden had to like find a glass. Snake heard some loud crashing thing and had to go look.

"D00d, Raiden, WTF did you just do, man? Damn, someone like totally needs to cap your ass!" Snake said all like angry and stuff.

"sorRy man! i wuz doin what u told me to lol and i broke everything!" Raiden was all acting dumb.

"D00d, just stop already! We're busy!"

Snake like went back into the living room where Otacon was all wrapped around the Xbox cords.

"Snake! I think I'm stuck, man!"

"Here! Let me try!" Snake like took out his gun and like shot the stupid Xbox!

"Thx man! That suked!"

"but nw we cant play halo!" Raiden was all sad and junk.

"Yeah, whatever! We still got the PS2, yeah?" Snake was like trying to cheer everyone up.

So like Snake turned on the PS2 and put MGS2 in.

"d00d! i luv tis intro its the coolest!" Raiden was like blabbing in stupid n00b language.

"Raiden! Like get me a drink! I'm totally thirsty!" Otacon like ordered Raiden.

"but i liek totally brok all t3h glasses!" Raiden was like becoming more of a stupid n00b by the minute!

"I'll get it you pansy!" Snake said like getting mad and everything.

"i wanna play!" Raiden said like jumping at the controller.

"No way! You'll screw it up you n00b! Snake's the only guy who can play this right!" Otacon like grabbed Raiden and like threw him on the couch.

"dooshbag!" Raiden said, all mispelled (oops!) and junk.

"Whatever! Hey! My drink!" Otacon grabbed the drink.

Otacon like swallowed the thing whole before putting down the cup.

"D00d! That Olga chick is hot!" Otacon said.

"Yeah, I know! Ain't it awesome!"

"shes n0t so gret! u guyz are l0sers!" Raiden like tried to say.

"Shut up man! I don't know why I invite you over so damn much!" Snake said.

"i dunt no either! i hat u anyways! " Raiden like said.

_Like, 4 hours later!_

"do0d, this is my part!1!one+shift!" Raiden said when they like reached the Big Shell place. "its my turn!"

"STFU, lamer!" Snake like snapped back. "My game, house, and rules!" He like slapped a high-five to Otacon.

"Yeah man! Snake's like way better than you. He'd pwn your ass at Halo if he didn't shoot the Xbox!" Otacon like threw his cup at Raiden.

"stop it man! you suk jakass!" Raiden said, like trying to act cool for a change.

"Whatever!" Snake was all in the zone.

"Dude! Kill the fat guy with the bombs! I hate his ass!" Otacon like screamed at Snake.

"Shut up! And like stop staring at his ass!" Snake said with a big-ass laugh.

"forget u lamer! im going home and liek playing barbies explorer! its liek a totally better game than tis st00pid thing! st00pid!" Raiden like got mad and stuff.

Raiden like went to the kitchen and like took his punch bowl and threw it all on Snake and Otacon!

"D00d! Why'd you do that you tard!" Snake was all up and mad.

"D00d! Let's like just beat his n00b ass for a change!" Otacon was all agreeing with Snake.

"uh liek do a barral r0ll fox!" Raiden like shouted before running his ass out the door.

"ROFLMAO!" Snake said.

"Well, g2g!" Otacon like said. "My mom's totally going to kill me if I don't get home soon!"

"Whatever, cya later man!"

"TTYL!"

_**T3H EN!**_

_(A/N: Dumbest thing ever? I think so. I had this in mind for some time but it kept changing. Since it took me so damn long to write it, this is just my best guess on where I was actually going with it. Whatever, just leave your comments. I don't care how nasty you want to be because this is a joke chapter anyway. I don't hate Raiden and this was just more something random that played on everyone's ill sentiments and otherwise, just some out-of-character b/s I threw together. The real Chatper 2 is in progress.)_


End file.
